Spreading fear and mayhem in the visual arts.

Basic Bollocks

Posted in Beaux Arts, Curiosa & Forteana, Erotica, Interna, Moving Images by Suzanne G. on October 28th, 2004 | BBC Wikipedia

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© Margot Knight: "Torso"

For over ten years, Paul Verhoeven and the corrupt film mafia have been trying to convince us with expensive movie posters and ever so secret bonus material DVDs that Basic Instinct is a subtle and arousing erotica thriller. Well, they failed. Horribly. It's neither erotica, nor a thriller. It's not even a sock. It's nothing!

However, there's this one scene that hasn't left my mind ever since I saw it for the first time. And it has become one of my top 10 movie scenes - not just because I can relate to it, but because it's raw, archaic and honest:

CATHERINE
(a long beat)
Do you think I told her to kill you?

NICK
(softly, with intensity)
No.

CATHERINE
(after a beat, near tears)
Everybody that I care about dies.

NICK
(soothing)
It's OK. It's OK.

CATHERINE
(quietly, almost begging)
Make love to me.

Now, Mr Verhoeven, listen very carefully: This is it! That's cinématographie sensuelle, filled with piquanterie and suspense! That's brilliant, psychologically intense script writing that does more to ones libido than hours of vulgar pseudo-lesbian cocaine sniffing toilet nonsense. Reduce and focus please.

I realized that another favourite sex scene of mine can be found in one of the crappiest movies in the history of film making ever: Enemy at the Gates.

Yes, I'm talking about the grotesque piece of mute spastic masturbatory shagging amongst corpses, mines and mud in the middle of the movie. Performed by Vassili Zaitsev (a.k.a. Jude Law) and Tania Chernova (a.k.a. Rachel Weisz) in the most ridiculous yet arousing manner. You're gonna like that even if you're not a necrophiliac. I guess.

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ANTIQUARIAN FIND DU JOUR


(click image to enlarge)

Give her ten years and she'll be the hottest girl in town. :)

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METAPHORICAL VISUALIZATION OF MY MOOD


(click image to enlarge - © Jean Bailly)

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THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO "AWWWWW!"


(click image to enlarge - based on this image)

The insanely talented Dave Youkovich turned me into a rather Magrittesque cartoon! Thank you ever so much, Dave...

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VARIA OBSCURIA

If you liked CookieThievery and DickCream - which have both been shut down *sniffy* - you might be pleased to hear that BananaMilk is now online. It's less braindamaging though.

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